NEMA 14-50 vs 6-50 for my new EV — my husband says one, the electrician says the other

The neutral does nothing for the charging itself — a Tesla Mobile Connector or any J1772 EVSE only uses the two hots and ground, full stop. What the neutral buys you is the ability to also run 120V loads (shop lights, an air compressor, a fridge) off the same receptacle down the line, or to plug in something else later that does need it. For pure EV charging a 6-50 works exactly as well as a 14-50.

Only asterisk: if you ever sell the house, a 14-50 reads as more universally useful to a buyer who doesn't have an EV and just sees a 240V outlet in a shop. Purely a resale thing, not a charging thing.

Priced it out for my own install last year — the delta between 14-50 and 6-50 in materials was under $30 for a run our length. At that point I just went 14-50 for the flexibility, didn't feel like a real decision either way.

6-50 owner here, zero problems in three years.

wait so is a 6-50 actually harder to find an EVSE for? or do most chargers just come with whatever plug you order

The receptacle-melt failures people describe up-thread aren't hypothetical — they trace back to two specific code requirements that apply to both 14-50 and 6-50 the same way. NEC 210.19 requires the branch circuit to be sized at 125% of the continuous load, so a 32A EVSE = 40A minimum circuit conductor. NEC 210.20 applies the same 125% rule to the overcurrent device, and a 2020 code update requires GFCI protection on any 125V-250V receptacle serving EVSE at 60A or less. What that adds up to in practice: a $12 residential-grade receptacle is inside code but outside the mechanical-endurance range for continuous 40A cycling — the Hubbell HBL9450 (industrial, ~$60) or Bryant 9450FR are the two most commonly-specified receptacles that pass the 5-year continuous-use test. Hardwiring skips the receptacle entirely and drops the GFCI breaker requirement, which is where the $150-$250 savings vs. a proper 14-50 install actually comes from.